Food was deeply intertwined with my mother's life. Watching her refuse it in her final days was a heart-wrenching experience.
This Mother's Day marks the 11th anniversary of my mother Isabel's passing, reminding me of her unwavering love for family gatherings centered around food.
Her attitude towards meals was reflective of her beliefs about health and prosperity. To her, being 'stout' was synonymous with a good life.
When my wife and I introduced our oldest son to her, her concern was palpable. She worried he was too thin, fearing it reflected poorly on me as a parent.
Food as a Measure of Love
My mother often gauged people by their willingness to eat her food. It was a way for her to express affection.
When my friend Pete visited, she watched closely as he enjoyed a simple Ilocano dish, feeling reassured by his appreciation.
At family gatherings, she would prepare extravagant meals, insisting we eat our fill. Each scoop of food was her way of showing love.
The Pain of Refusal
So it was shocking to hear from my sisters that in her last months, she had stopped eating.
When I visited her a month before her passing, the absence of her warm welcome and the food she would prepare was palpable.
Despite my efforts to feed her, she turned away from most food, her spirit seemingly diminished.
Understanding the End
During our time together, I learned that loss of appetite is a natural part of dying. It represents acceptance that life is nearing its end.
I came to understand that my mother's refusal to eat was not a rejection of love; it was part of her journey.
Reflecting on her life, I cherish the memories of shared meals and the love they embodied.
Memories of Joy
Even in her last days, there were moments of connection. She listened to my stories and even smiled occasionally.
Though I had long questioned the afterlife, my mother's passing made me reconsider. I envision her now, joyfully reunited with loved ones, serving food and sharing laughter.